Early in my career, a leader I worked with taught me a valuable lesson. In order to be successful, I have a responsibility to always ask questions, raise my hand for help, and speak up when I am not sure about something. This leader never shyly showed me how my personal obstacles inhibited my career development.

Before that, I always thought that asking for help was a sign of weakness and represented my professional flaws. It took me two years to overcome this misunderstanding and understand why I need to admit the skills I have not yet mastered. reason? You can't fix what is hidden, and you can't practice what you don't admit.

I didn't realize this at the time, but I was on the road of developing self-awareness. I started to learn more about the true meaning of self-awareness and how it can benefit your professional development. Interestingly, ordinary people think they are self-aware-but studies have found that only 10% to 15% of people really meet the standard.

The benefits of self-awareness are tenfold. It can inspire your ability to clearly express your desires and seek help to open the way to your goals. It also creates stronger leadership skills. Self-awareness has helped me balance my expectations of others, lead with more empathy, and eliminate some of the unconscious biases that many of us have unknowingly incorporating into dialogue with others. It also helped me make some of the most important career decisions because I learned to reflect on the skills I have not yet mastered and find roles that can help me develop these skills.

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But cultivating self-awareness is not a quick solution. This is an ongoing journey, and you will go through different stages based on the people and events you come into contact with over time. The good news is that self-awareness is an acquired behavior. We can all try to get closer to fully understand the ways and factors that really motivate us.

You can practice self-awareness through the following three ways to improve leadership skills.

Comprehensive understanding of the index
A pioneering research project by organizational psychologist Dr. Tasha Eurich found that there are actually two types of self-awareness: internal self-awareness and external self-awareness. And they are not mutually exclusive. You can have one or two types.

The inner self-awareness represents how we clearly see our own values, passions, ambitions, thoughts, feelings, and our influence on others. Studies have shown that this awareness is associated with higher job and relationship satisfaction and overall happiness.

External self-awareness represents understanding others' perceptions of our value system and our thoughts or feelings. When people tend to have external self-awareness, they usually understand how others perceive them. Moreover, they are better at expressing empathy and understanding the opinions of others.

In the two barrels of self-awareness, there are four types of leadership archetypes: introspection, seeker, conscious and pleased. I belong to the categories of Aware and Pleaser. This means that I know who I am, what I want, and I know exactly how I show it to others; but I often try to appease all kinds of people at once. I try to switch between the two; sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't work.

Developing the two subtypes of consciousness equally, rather than over-indexing one of them, is the most influential. An analysis by Gallup shows that people with a high degree of self-awareness are often proven to be good leaders in many environments because they deliberately seek balance and interpersonal and introspective skills. This leads to my next suggestion-why-oriented.

Learn more about your reasons
One of the ways I found some gaps in self-awareness is through self-reflection. The process may look different for everyone. Setting aside time to write in a diary is helpful to me, but self-reflection can also be meditation, cognitive therapy, or just five minutes of uninterrupted, focused thinking time.

I believe that one of the biggest mistakes we make as humans is that we observe things about ourselves-but we don't bother to ask ourselves why. Why do I have this reaction to my colleagues? Why are some people around me not depressed, but some people are particularly nervous? Take the time to figure out why you are moving the way. Ask yourself why you would respond like this-if you had the opportunity, would you do it the same way, or would you handle it in a different way?

Self-reflection is a subject, just like you are training for a marathon or preparing for a large conference. However, if you choose to reflect, the key is to make sure that you do it intentionally. And remember to delve into the reasons-it will be very helpful to help you better understand who you are, how to spend your life, and how to lead others more effectively.

Discover the reasons for other people-and help them grow in the process
Improving my self-awareness makes me more sensitive as a leader and able to recognize the performance of other people in the workplace. Being true to yourself is very important for finding happiness and satisfaction at work.

I remember working with a teammate a few years ago, and he always seemed to exude a tense atmosphere when he showed up in front of others. Although other employees dress casually, this employee wears formal attire every day. When they talk, they pull their clothes or fiddle with their collars, which makes them look uncomfortable and unsure of themselves. One day, I pulled this person aside to speak privately and asked them if they were nervous when speaking in public. I was surprised to find that they really liked it. What is the reason why they look so uncomfortable? They are not feeling well! They dress formally in midsummer in Texas.

I asked them why they felt the need to dress up-they shared this in their previous work. Although their workplace says there is a casual dress code, there is an unwritten rule that casual still means very sophisticated and high-end dressing. If you don't do this, you will be judged. I asked them what they would feel more comfortable wearing if they felt that there were no unwritten rules, and assured them that they could wear that. Since then, their entire temperament has changed. If I did not ask these follow-up questions, I would assume that the person dislikes public speaking and is nervous in front of the crowd, but that is not the case.

Whether you are analyzing yourself or trying to better understand one of your team members, be prepared to ask this question: "Who am I and why" or "Who are they and why" more than 1,000 times. Be prepared to be unable to answer this question in certain situations, and be satisfied with your answers or the answers of your employees, which are always changing or evolving.

The journey of self-awareness is like a never-ending song. Just like learning and growth never have an end, so self-awareness never has an end. As long as you are exposed to different moments, characters and interactions, your self-awareness will continue to develop.